My sophomore year in high school was a pretty big turning point from innocents to deviousness. The more I look back on this story the more sense it makes. It’s a definite all time camp-fire favorite. During this season of life I transitioned out of sports to employment, receiving a license and a car, going from so little independence to so much freedom and all of this really moved me from the shy governable type, to more of a bold outspoken revolutionary.

There are a few important things to know before I enter into this narrative. Senora V (I will not use her full name) was one of the first teachers in my life I could not understand. I was a good kid who received only A’s and B’s as grades until her class and I felt very frustrated by her teaching style. I also felt targeted by her throughout my year under her. Often I was guilty by association in her class that led to punishment I didn’t believe I should have received. It didn’t help that I also saw very little benefit for being forced to learn Spanish in the first place. Eventually I gave up trying in her class knowing I was doomed to receive my second “C” and that left a very bitter taste in my mouth. Enjoy.

“An 89?”
Derek, Gio, David and I all looked astonishingly at one another and even had to giggle because it made sense. Why on earth should any of us expect Senora V to give any of her students a reasonable shot at an “A” on her end of the year final?

“Even the Mexican kids yesterday can’t figure out her Spanish tests.” We all laughed and continued cracking jokes to ourselves.

I was glad that I didn’t have to torture myself over this final. Since I had a whopping 73 percent, I already knew my grade wasn’t going anywhere up or down from this final I would be taking in a little less than 5 hours. But as for David, Derek, Gio and others? Yes, this was very unfortunate news. No one from the first 2 periods during this final week schedule received an “A” the previous day. No one. Ridiculous! Doesn’t Senora understand that our choices of colleges directly correlates with our GPA’s? Doesn’t she understand that being strict and unfair screws up our lives going forward? What is she trying to prove? That she’s a real first class bitch?

“So now that you all understand how hard this test is I suggest you all study during this morning period. If you have any questions I will be at my desk putting in grades and good luck later today.” This was strange that she was actually letting us decide for ourselves if we wanted to study. And letting us sit wherever we wanted?

My three friends and I decided an hour of studying wasn’t really going to help us with this one. We all sat together and began joking with one another like any normal group of 16 year old guys in a class room would. At one point, the topic of our joking became, “How can we cheat on this final?” While they were all discussing ridiculous super powers they would need in order to cheat, I began actually contemplating a way that we could. After all, I hated this class, and nothing would be more gloriously vengeful than baffling my least favorite teacher with a stunningly awesome grade on her final that she seemed so pleased with because it was so difficult.

“Guys, I think we could cheat.” I said. They all chuckled until my stare of seriousness silenced them.

“Wait, really? How?” asked Derek.

“Well, she’s grading the answers to the test from yesterday right now. Which means once she’s finished recording the grades she’s never going to really look at those scan trons again. If we could get our hands on one of those scan trons, we would have all the answers that were answered correctly on it.”

“But how would you get a scan tron?” asked David.

“I don’t know, I’m just saying if we could get one, we would be in the clear. I haven’t totally thought this through, I’m just saying it’s possible.”

“We should ask Cynthia.” said Derek.

“Dude, she’s not going to do that.” We all knew the teachers assistant was cool, but not that cool.

But eventually as we were all still formulating a plan one of us asked Cynthia if she knew of a way we could get our hands on one of the scan trons. She laughed, assumed it was a joke (because who would actually try to cheat on Senora V?), and was no help whatsoever.

“Ok guys. I got it. Senora leaves at break right? What if one of us hid in the back of the classroom (for some odd reason the school used this classroom to keep a bunch of extra desks stacked on one another in the back of the classroom during this last week of the school year) and waited until everyone left? Once the coast is clear, get up, go to her desk, grab one of the scan trons and walk out.”

“Won’t the door be locked?” someone pointed out.

“You can’t get locked in a classroom from the inside. Right?” I replied not being completely sure.

“No. You can’t. I know you can’t.” said Gio.

“But what if we can’t find the scan tron or someone walks in?” asked Derek.

“Well, I just watched Senora put the scan trons in the top left drawer of her desk.”

“No way.” said Derek. We were all smiling.

“Yea, and whoever hides under the desks will still have a clear view of the window. I’ll just make sure to be the last person out of the classroom and I’ll give a signal when the coast is clear.”

I didn’t actually believe any of us would go for this. I was actually very surprised the plan was even coming out of my mouth. I certainly wasn’t going to hide in the back of the class. Even with a look-out, it seemed risky.

“I’ll do it.” Derek boldly volunteered himself.

“What?” The rest of us were surprised by this.

“Yea, I’ll do it. I’ve had enough of Senora’s crap. We’re doing this.” Derek was serious.

All of the sudden our joking, and lightened moods became real stern and focused. I spent the rest of the period inspecting from a distance the best spot to hide while thinking and rethinking to see if there was something significant we were overlooking. But I knew as long as Derek could slip away unnoticed, we would be in the clear.

We waited until the last 5 minutes of the period. All the other students began packing their items into their backpacks, everyone was standing and being extra social considering this is the last period we would all have in this class other than the final period that we would share later this afternoon. Gio, David and I set up a wall by standing next to one another in order to obstruct everyone’s vision while Derek slyly and quietly wiggled his way into what became his hiding place. I knelt down with a couple minutes left in the period pretending to go through my backpack in order to go over the plan with Derek discretely one final time.

“Ok, you good?” I asked Derek kneeling down without looking at him.

“Yea.” I heard Derek reply.

“We’re almost at the point of no return man, you sure you’re ok with this?” I was strongly hoping he would reconsider since this was primarily my plan.

“Nah, we got this.” Derek was locked into our mission.

“Ok, don’t get up until I signal you. I won’t give the signal until Senora is in the other classroom. I’ll be the last one out of the room and will knock on the window if you have to take cover again for any reason. Other than that, just grab a scan tron and get out of here quick.”

“K, cool.” We were ready.

The bell rings, and everyone started filing out of the classroom. I was nervous but focused and still a bit stunned at how hidden Derek remained. There was no way anyone could see him back there. I fidgeted with my folders, backpack, anything and everything so that I could be the last person walking out of that class. I was the second to last person out, as Senora held the door for all of us to be sure the classroom was indeed empty. Once seemingly vacant she gave her usual quick scan of things and walked out with the door shutting behind her.

“Heh, that really was easy.” I thought to myself. But my job wasn’t done. I safely tailed Senora for about 25 yards away from the class between the columns of classrooms to our left and right. I was just getting ready to turn back and signal Derek when it happened.

“Senora!” a skater girl named Britney came racing over to our teacher. “I forgot that we weren’t coming back for your final until after lunch and left my bag in your room.”

“Oh shit!” I almost said it while thinking it.

“Oh its ok Britney, lets go get it.” How nice of Senora V.

They both walked right by me and I walked directly behind both of them. About a minute had passed since the door had shut to the classroom with Derek left by himself in there and the time the three of us got back for Senora to reopen the classroom.

On the walk back my mind began racing, “Well, I haven’t given him a signal, but what if he panicked? What if he just got up after thirty seconds and gets caught in the act? This could be all bad.”

Senora V inserted her keys swiftly, Britney was ready to storm in and as Senora shoved downward the door handle I desperately declared, “Senora!”

She turned and looked at me as she opened the door and wouldn’t you know…. as she looked at me all I saw was Derek standing in the classroom doorway, scan tron in hand, stunned and jaw-dropped while mouthing an “ef bomb.” I can only imagine what my face must have looked like that caused Senora to ask me with a puzzled tone, “Jordan, is everything ok? Whats wrong?”

I gathered myself instantly and responded as smugly as possible making the most direct eye contact possible, “Ah, I don’t know, I think I’m just nervous about the final (please note the ironic truth in this answer)” Derek had done a reverse pivot out of Britney’s way and out of my sight. I knew Britney went into the class, and she must have seen Derek so it was obvious we would be at her mercy. The only thing I could try to manipulate was where my teacher was looking.

“Well did you study?” Senora asked.

“Yea, but I don’t know, I just never do any good on your tests.” Another honest statement.

“Oh don’t worry Senor Jordan, I’m sure you will do fine.” I doubt she actually believed this, but I guess it was the only encouraging thing she could tell me at this point.

“Yea. I think you’re right. Ok. Well, thanks Senora.” It was time for me to cash out while I was still ahead but I was imploring to God in that moment that Senora would NOT walk into that classroom because there is no way Derek could have hidden himself again that quickly.

“See you later!” Senora smiled, broke eye contact, and walked directly into the classroom. I turned around and immediately became a dead man walking.